


Like Sunglasses for the Soul

by chocolatetigerfics



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Setting, KH Mumbo Jumbo, M/M, Masturbation, Puberty, Teenagers, UST, Yen Sid's Trippy Tower, injuries, poor communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 00:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9631520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatetigerfics/pseuds/chocolatetigerfics
Summary: Sora is drawn to Riku's darkness while they train with Master Yen Sid. Riku takes it less than well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say this fic is canon-compliant, but that would imply that I understand canon.

Everything in Master Yen Sid’s Tower washed out eventually, except Riku’s hair. Or Riku’s clothes. Riku’s everything, really. The muted glinting hurt Sora’s eyes sometimes, and it sure played hell with his head about when he was supposed to sleep and when he was supposed to wake up. Only focusing on Riku, who managed to have a soothing darkness about him even when he was the palest thing in the room, made Sora feel better.

“How does this place even make sense?” Sora asked him, irritated by how he seemed content enough to stare out at the stars from the little window in the room they shared. “Like, is this little hunk of rock big enough to have like gravity and things?”

Aside from Master Yen Sid’s Tower, there was just a small forest without any animals and an unpaved road that lead to the Tower's back entrance. There was the exact same amount of light under the forest’s fluffy trees as there was in the Tower itself, which was the exactly as much light as there was out under the starry sky. Which was as much light they got in the worlds they visited. Though it never got any brighter than the twilight during a cloudy day, it still hurt Sora’s eyes. 

“I guess you did pay some attention in physics class,” said Riku, amused. 

Sora used to hate that hint of mirth in Riku’s voice, at least when it was directed at him, but so many things had happened to make Riku sad that hearing amusement out of him, just . . . well, Sora wasn’t one for self-reflection. Riku annoyed him a lot less lately, and that was for the best. Right?

They had to trek the Tower as part of their training, and the longer they tried it, the more Sora worried that it would take a freaking lifetime. Master Yen Sid’s Tower seemed to have no top or bottom. Every floor - every _room_ \- led to a sliver of a different world, and not all of them welcomed Sora and Riku. Even the ones that didn't have anything too alive were littered with crumbling edifices, traitorous landscapes, and blistering weather. Sora hoped they never had to return to that field with thousands of abandoned Keyblades that randomly came to life and attacked in concerted whirlwinds. 

“There’s darkness holding this place together,” said Riku, while they walked through a forest with massive rose bushes that reminded Sora of Wonderland. “You can feel it, smell it almost, if you focus.”

“Eh, I don’t think so?” Sora still had his reservations about that, how darkness had changed from ‘total evil all the time’ to ‘just leave it be, unless you’re special, or it’ll poison you’. Or something.

“I guess I’m just sensitive to it,” shrugged Riku. “And don’t touch that!”

Sora pulled his hand back, watched the big dollop of shiny dew he’d been arching for sway to the mossy ground like the strangest leaf ever. There wasn't even wind. It was probably nothing by shiny moisture, but Riku was nothing if not paranoid.

“Does the darkness hurt you?” asked Sora, finally cottoning to the fact that Riku, who’d been through Kingdom Hearts and everything, might be trying to tell him something.

“No, no.” Riku shook his head. “It’s not the bad kind of darkness. Besides, it’s the light that hurts.”

“The light is good,” said Sora. 

Riku shrugged without looking at him. “It’s purifying. You’re pretty resistant to it though, so don’t worry about it. You’ll never need the darkness."

What did _that_ mean?

"I don't think there's anything left in this world," continued Riku, " so let’s go back to the Tower before we get lost and Master Yen Sid has to come get us.”

He had plenty of need for _Riku_ though, and he didn't want Riku to wander off into some self-finding quest in the darkness again. Sora humphed, unsure of how to bring it up without making Riku close up like a clam. He looked to the side, frowning at the plump, massive red rose nearest to him. This world was nice, actually, and he hated to leave. If he didn't have Riku with him, he might be tempted to stay. He could hardly go a minute without the tepid light of Yen Sid’s tower hurting his eyes. Only the sight of Riku’s profile grounded him when they were in their temporary home. School. Whatever the Tower was to them now.

Once, he’d carefully managed the time he staring at Riku because he didn't want to be one of the many randoms who gazed at him in dumbstruck awe. When they were little, Riku had confessed that he hated the way people fixated on his white hair and eerie green/blue eyes; that he wished his parents would dye his hair brown and that his skin would tan under the harsh sun that bathed Destiny Islands. Sora had made sure not to be one of Those People, though looking at Riku had always been one of his favorite things to do ever. Kairi was the prettiest girl in the island, sweet as a Papau fruit, but even she didn't grab Sora’s attention the same visceral way that Riku did.

Then Riku had disappeared, lost himself to the darkness and his own daring, and Sora had felt like someone had sneaked into his bedroom and stolen his nightlight favorite set of pyjamas, all at the same time (which he’d told nobody about, but Riku probably knew anyway). He’d been trying to observe his Staring at Riku Rules from before, but it was impossible not to look at him, especially since he’d changed so much during his time in the darkness.

His hair got longer, his face thinner and his _eyes_. . . Riku had always looked at things like he could see things no one else could, and it’d only gotten worse. It didn't annoy Sora as much as it used to, at least. And he was so _tall_ now, and his arms so _toned_. . . not that Riku hadn't been toned since forever, so Sora didn't know why that made him flutter all of a sudden. The strip of pale belly that Sora spotted every once in a while thanks to Riku’s baggy clothes would be his undoing.

Riku never complained about Sora ogling, thank King Mickey for small favors, so Sora did it more and more, as if he was making up for the time Riku had been gone and for a lifetime of holding back. He’d been like a thief sneaking treats off his host’s table whenever the host was away, drinking in the sight of Riku whenever Yen Sid left them alone. Somehow, it still felt wrong to stare like a drooling moron while Master Yen Sid tried to teach them about Kingdom Hearts and stuff. Luckily, they were alone most of the time, so Sora could indulge his Riku-watching in peace. 

He was a little alarmed that it never got boring, like now, when Riku napped by the window in the small room they shared in Master Yen Sid’s Tower. They’d originally been given separate rooms, but if Yen Sid hadn't wanted Sora to make himself at home in Riku’s living space, then he shouldn't have given them rooms with bunk beds. His initial excuse had been that Riku’s room was the one with the window, but he’d resolutely ignored Riku’s offer to switch, or his suggestion that he asked Yen Sid for a window of his own. 

He liked watching Riku nap. Or “nap”, as he was doing now. A person didn't spend their every waking hour watching their friend without learning what they looked like when they slept for real, and it wasn't dead-still, curled up by a window with an arm over his belly and with his breath unnaturally smooth. His bangs laid over his nose, swaying with the wind, and Sora wanted to go over a brush them away from his face.

“Riku.”

Not even a twitch.

“ _Riku_.”

“I’m _trying_ to meditate.”

“Huh?” Didn't people meditate cross-legged, backs straight and making ‘uuuum’ noises? “No way; you're hiding from me.”

Riku’s eyes snapped open to glare at Sora, and Sora had to force himself glare right back. Lately, even when Riku wasn't mad, looking into his glittering, ocean-blue eyes was hard. It was the only part of him that was difficult to stare at. 

“I’m not,” said Riku, a second before his gaze softened. “It’s just the light here gives me a headache, and King Mickey taught me to close my eyes and just _breathe_ when that happens.”

“Oh.” Now Sora felt like one of those electric snake things that followed Ursula around. He got off his bunk bed and walked closer to Riku, then ran a hand over his shoulder awkwardly. “Y’know, the light here hurts my eyes too. So I just stare at you.”

“Oh,” said Riku. “So that’s why you can't take your eyes off me lately.” He sagged against the window. “I guess it makes sense.”

Which Sora had not been expecting. “Yeah?”

“There’s too much light in this world,” explained Riku. “The darkness in me must be soothing.”

Sora frowned. The only reason Riku had darkness in him was that Maleficent and Ansem had. . . They'd taken Riku away and _used_ him and _hurt_ him. And besides, Sora wouldn't call looking at Riku “soothing”. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” asked Riku. 

The bluster left Sora’s body as he noticed that he was gripping Riku’s shoulder too tightly. Laughing nervously, he let go and patted Riku’s bicep, too aware of how smooth his skin was. “Sorry for staring so much,” he said. “I know you don’t like it.”

“I don’t mind,” said Riku.

“You used to hate it when we were kids.”

“Only when other people did it.” Riku smirked. “And you’re still a kid.” 

“Hey!”

Sora wasn’t all that indignant, but he wasn’t so dumb that he didn’t recognize an opening for some play-fighting when he saw it. He wrapped an arm around Riku’s neck to put him in a mock-chokehold, then laughed when Riku squirmed away like he wasn’t the most graceful fighter Sora had ever faced. Grinning, Sora followed along, wrapping his limbs around Riku and getting ready to tickle him into submission. No one besides Sora knew that cool and smooth Riku was so sensitive to tickles; not even Kairi. Riku had sworn him to secrecy.

“O-okay, okay, stop!” cried Riku, as Sora straddled him and slipped his hands under his loose shirt to attack his ribs. “I yield.”

“That’s like a thousand-to-zero,” said Sora, smirking. 

He ought to take his hands out from under Riku’s shirt, but he unfurled them so that his palms touched Riku’s skin and watched as Riku panted, pale cheeks flushed pink.

“Sora?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Still, it took him a couple of extra second to pull his hands back, and Riku had to cough to make Sora get off him and lay down on the floor beside him. “Riku.”

“Hmm?”

“What was it like? Being lost in the darkness?”

For a few moments, Sora heard the nothing that permeated Master Yen Sid’s tower, and he was scared that Riku would shut him out for days, like he had the last time Sora had asked about Kingdom Hearts.

“It wasn’t bad,” said Riku. “That was the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kingdom Hearts was pure light at the center, and it burned. Like looking straight into the sun at noon during a cloudless day.” Riku took a quick, loud breath.

Sora turned to him and met his gaze, trying to look encouraging and comforting.

“It hurts your eyes being here, right?”

“Yeah.” 

Probably much worse than it hurt Sora. Though Sora hadn't thought of it like that because he could be stupid at times.

“This place is a bit like Kingdom Hearts,” said Riku, “except Kingdom Hearts was much, _much_ worse. I thought it would sear right through my skull.”

It had certainly seared right through Ansem, but Sora had been so happy when that happened. It’d never occurred to him that Riku had been hurt.

“And then the darkness was there, inside me like always, and it was like a blanket,” continued Riku. “I wanted to wrap myself in it and drown, and I _would_ have drowned, and probably enjoyed it to the last second.”

It was too easy to imagine Riku in that form-fitting dark armor, laughing maniacally as the darkness swallowed him. How many villains had Sora slayed while they ranted that the darkness would always protect them?

“And then what happened?”

Riku shrugged. “King Mickey helped me to use the darkness like a shield. . . no, like sunglasses for the heart.”

“But you looked like Ansem when I found you.” At the time, Sora had just been thrilled to find Riku at all, but he doubted he’d be drinking in Riku with his eyes if Kingdom Hearts hadn’t fixed that. 

“I’m not sure that was the darkness,” said Riku. “Maybe it was just Ansem being Ansem, or just me punishing myself.”

Or maybe punishment for the people missing him, and by “the people missing him”, Sora meant himself.

“Riku. . . you really don't mind it when I stare at you?”

“No. I was just wondering why, is all.”

But he hadn't asked. 

“Then would you mind if I touched you?”

“Huh?” asked Riku, with a confused frown.

Sora hadn't expected that. He didn't know what he’d expected, but not that. “Forget it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” said Riku, as Sora turned away. “Come on, Sora.” He touched Sora’s shoulder and tried to turn him around, but Sora was too embarrassed. “Dork, you can touch me if you want. You’re touchy-feely to begin with; I don't mind.”

Except that Sora hadn't been asking if Riku “minded”, not really. Since he didn't know what exactly he’d been asking, he just dropped it and made a dumb joke about how silly he could be.

Nevertheless, Riku’s nebulous permission to his even more nebulous request emboldened him to do things that he had only dreamed off in the early hours of what passed for mornings in Yen Sid’s tower. 

Sora stopped holding himself back every time he wanted to touch Riku’s face, or wrap a hand around his wrist, or smell his hair (that went beyond touching, but whatever), or just tackle him to the bed and tickle him. Once, he even gave into the impulse to touch the sole of Riku’s foot as he dried it after a shower.

“You’re so weird,” Riku said, blushing. But he didn’t pulled away. 

The sole of his foot was tougher than the skin of his arms, but still smooth and warm as a hot springs. Though Sora wasn't trying to tease him, Riku let out one of the hysterical, high-pitched giggles he made when Sora was tickling him and pulled away. Sora humphed, but couldn't think of a reason to make him keep still. 

Master Yen Sid’s training got harder the longer they stayed in within the tower’s glinting walls. Rooms in the lower levels led to worlds with harsh weather and giant Heartless that dropped them in hollow, disoriented microcosms that threatened to leave Sora dizzy and broken. He thanked Kingdom Hearts every day that Riku was there to back him up, and spent more of his time staring.

If Yen Sid noticed Sora spacing out while gazing at Riku from the corner of his eyes, Yen Sid didn't say anything. Sora did feel a little guilty - this was a few steps above dozing off during math class while dreaming of sharing a Papau fruit with Kairi - but they’d beaten Xehanort and they had Riku back on their side. They’d win. They would scour the world for all the slimy pieces that Xehanort, Ansem, or whoever-he-was had left behind.

Sometimes, the Tower gave them a break took them to treasure rooms that rivaled the cave in Agrabah. 

“Look at this!” Riku held up a charm bracelet glinting with diamonds and some other lavender/pink stones. “Kairi’s gonna love it.”

“You think it’s okay to take it?” Though Kairi would definitely go crazy over it, especially the five-pointed star charm lined with speck-sized diamonds. “Maybe it’s cursed.”

Riku narrowed his eyes and brought the charm close to his nose. “Nah, it’s good. I’m taking it.”

“What if Master Yen Sid says something”

Riku but his lip, gazing at the bracelet with a frown. “You think he will?”

Sora had no idea, and he wasn't sure why he’d protested in the first place. The bracelet was pretty and they hadn't given Kairi a present in the longest time. 

“You know, sometimes it’s easier to ask for permission than forgiveness,” said Sora, bumping Riku’s shoulder. “I say we look around for something even better.”

Master Yen Sid didn’t say anything about the bracelet, which they took as permission to gather trinkets from all the strange worlds they visited. Sora bet that they’d return to Destiny Islands with enough jewelry to set themselves up for a lifetime, or for Kairi to set herself up for a lifetime since it was technically all for her. Sora sorta wished they’d find something a little more useful, as much as he liked watching Riku smiling as he gathered trinkets for Kairi.

“I wish she was here,” said Riku, as Sora examined a charm they found in a cave that a big Heartless had been guarding.

“It’s dangerous here,” protested Sora.

“Kairi has a Keyblade now,” said Riku, shrugging. “And Ansem came to Destiny Islands to look for her in the first place. She needs to learn to defend herself.”

That was true, never mind how much Sora wished it wasn't. Still. . . “We can protect her.”

“Maybe not,” said Riku. “Besides, she wants to fight. She told me so in The World That Never Was. I’m gonna ask Master Yen Sid if she can join us.”

“No!”

“Why not?” demanded Riku.

Sora opened his mouth. . . closed it with an aborted noise. _I like being mostly alone with you_ would sound so selfish. “I just think she’s safe where she is.”

“Be reasonable, Sora. Axel, kidnapped her from Destiny Islands. I’m talking to Yen Sid.”

Much to Sora’s guilty relief, Master Yen Sid said he wasn't equipped to deal with more than two apprentices at once. Considering that Riku was right and Kairi really wasn't all that safe, Sora had to speak. “What about King Mickey? Could he train her?”

“Yeah,” said Riku. “He trained me very well so far.”

“I will speak to him,” said Master Yen Sid, staring off into nothing.

Riku was less than appeased, but they had no control over what Master Yen Sid chose to do. The man was as unknowable and fickle as his labyrinth of a Tower, and they both desperately needed his training if they wanted a shot against what was coming. Riku took his frustrations out on Sora during their daily spar, striking more swiftly and using more dark powers than he had since their horrific fight at Hollow Bastion so long ago. That was all right. Sora could take him now. Once, being a better fighter than Riku would have been cause for celebration, but since Riku didn't seem to care, it wasn't a big deal.

Now that he could indulge in random, idle touches, Sora was not tempted to let Riku restrain him just to feel his hands tightening on Sora’s wrists. The darkness shimmered around him, making Sora freeze on the spot momentarily, not because he was afraid, but because he wanted to touch Riku’s skin as the black mist enveloped him. Had it not been a mock-fight, Sora would have lost in seconds, but Riku kept pausing his blade over Sora’s nose.

“Come on, Sora!” Riku laughed, dancing back after nearly getting Sora right in the face for the third time during the spar. “You sick today or something?”

Sora huffed, trying to hide his excitement. He couldn't remember the last time that Riku got really into a spar, and he wanted to make it count. Next time Riku got closed enough, Sora went for his left wrist, grabbed at it with his free hand and aimed the blunt of the his Keyblade at it.

The scream that escaped Riku’s mouth was short, but still too shrill to hear in the middle of a friendly spar. 

Sora vanished his Keyblade instantly and dropped Riku’s wrist. Riku jumped back, wearing a pained grimace and cradling his wrist. “Sorry, sorry!” Sora surged forward, then stopped in his tracks when Riku jumped back. He thought of using Curaga, but didn't want to see if Riku would take it as an attack. “I’'ll get Master Yen Sid.”

“No, it’s fine!” Riku straightened up and offered a smile that faded under a harsh _crack_.

Sora winced when he recognized the sound of Riku setting his wrist bone back in place. 

“This injury never healed right, is all,” said Riku, moving his hand up and down, as if trying to dry it. “I couldn't use healing magic at all back when. . . y’know.”

Sora _did_ know. That was why he’d for Riku’s left wrist in the first place, remembering how Riku often rubbed his it with a pained frown, how he avoided using that arm except for magic, how he turned down all of Sora’s attempts to teach him to use two Keyblades at once. He’d just never realized just how bad the injury was.

That night - kinda, since Master Yen Sid’s little space rock didn't have a specific night or day - Sora slipped beside Riku on his bunk bed and spooned him. Riku had been meditating, or pretending to sleep. He didn't protest, so it didn't matter which. 

Sora wrapped a hand around Riku’s left wrist, thumb pressing against the makeshift cast Riku had gotten from Kingdom-Hearts-knew-where in the Tower. Once he was sure that Riku wouldn’t pull away, Sora rubbed his lips over Riku’s palm, just over the cast.

“Don’t be silly about it,” said Riku, without opening his eyes. “I’m used to it.”

“Who hurt you?” asked Sora. If he could annihilate Ansem again for it, he would.

“Roxas.”

Sora froze. That was him. He’d broken Riku’s hand so bad that it still bothered him months and months later.

“I don't hold it against him,” said Riku, sighing. “He was just trying to defend himself.”

Sora nuzzled his shoulder. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Sure.” Riku sighed again. “You're being a total baby, but sure.”

Sora hadn't slept so well since before everything back in Destiny Islands while dreaming of their awesome trip on the little raft. He kept climbing into Riku’s bed after that, telling himself that Riku appreciated the closeness to silence the niggling voice in the back of his head that told him that he might be crossing a line. Besides, sleeping so close to Riku made Master Yen Sid’s tower easier to bear, as if he was drawing some of that protective darkness around himself while they slept. He managed to ease up on the staring and on the stray touches during the “day”, and got even better during his spars with Riku. 

Or Riku got worse.

Sora didn't entertain those thoughts for long. Riku remained as calm and attentive as the sea before a storm, drawing teeny satisfied smiles from Master Yen Sid with philosophical questions about light, darkness, and time that Sora barely grasped. And he plastered himself to the wall next to his bunk bed to give Sora room to slip in beside him every evening. 

A few days after Sora vacated his bed the one thing he’d been hoping would not happen. . . happened. He woke up with a raging hard-on and Riku plastered on his back, an arm thrown over Sora’s waist, breath hot behind Sora’s neck. 

Sora stayed dead-still, willing his throbbing cock _down_ , imagining the embarrassment of Riku waking up and realizing his predicament. But all his nightmare scenarios devolved into Riku blushing before saying something clever in a Riku-way, then slipping his hand beneath Sora’s shorts. 

Which obviously made his problem worse. 

Considering he’d been getting hard for Riku since he’d started getting hard at all, Sora should’ve have a plan for it, but of course he didn’t. 

“I have to take a leak!” he yelled, grasping Riku’s arm and pushing him off so he could get off the bed. 

He stole a quick look backwards as he rushed out of the room and let out a soft breath. Riku didn't seem fazed, and simply shifted so that his back pressed to the wall, as if he was trying to give Sora as much space as possible. 

Sora considered a cold shower, but his hand refused to turn that faucet. He idled for a bit, then slid under a warm rush and wrapped his hand around his dick. He gave up on keeping his dreams amorphous, and jerked himself to images of Riku red-faced, panting as Sora tickled his ribs. A traitorous thought/memory of Riku wrapped in that strange, skin-tight shroud of darkness sent him over the edge. 

Briefly, Sora reproached himself for that one stray image of Riku in the grips of darkness, but couldn't make himself be ashamed for long. He cleaned himself up and went back to bed to lay his head on Riku’s chest. If Riku noticed that it took him a good fifteen minutes to “take a leak”, he didn't say anything.

Next day, Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey came to visit them, and Riku grinned at King Mickey from ear to ear. It was the first time Riku had beamed since. . . Since long enough that Sora was a little mesmerized.

“Sora, you sure look different!” said Donald.

“Do I?”

“It must he’s getting older,” said Goofy. 

“And stronger,” added Sora, trying to smile.

He watched Riku leaning down to speak quietly with King Mickey, and Mickey reaching up to touch his chin idly. Donald and Goofy stepped a little away from Sora after greeting him with affectionate hugs, but King Mickey made no move to give Riku his personal space back, and Riku seemed content enough to sit cross-legged and bend his back to half-murmur near King Mickey’s round ears. Sora tried to pay attention to Goofy’s tale about the jokes Jimminy told to keep entertained now that he only had the daily going-ons of the castle to chronicle, but couldn't really focus with Riku so far away.

“Hey,” Sora said that night, while covering his face with his pillow to give his eyes a rest from the light. Riku laid beside him, nose buried in a book, his back pressed against Sora’s. “Did you cuddle with King Mickey?”

“What?”

“Y’know,” said Sora. “While you were lost in the darkness.”

“Uh, no.” 

“You and King Mickey are really close.” 

“Yeah,” said Riku without looking up from a book that the King had left him. “He helped me out a lot.”

“Howcome looking at him doesn't hurt you?” asked Sora. “He's like the King of Light, right?”

“What do you mean?” Sora could practically hear Riku’s frown before he turned around, reaching for Sora’s pillow. “It doesn't hurt you to look at him, does it?”

“No, of course not.” But Sora wasn't. . . The light wasn't supposed to bother him in the first place.

Later, he lost a spar to Riku pretty badly for the first time in what felt like forever, and that night, he clung Riku harder than usual in their shared bunk bed. He woke to Riku murmuring soft reassurances to his hair, shaking from a nightmare he couldn't remember. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. . .”

“You don't have anything to be sorry for,” said Riku, tightening his hold on Riku’s waist. “It’s okay. I’m here. I'm here.”

Without a clear passage of time, Sora couldn't put the bad night behind him, and he fought harder than usual during his daily spar with Riku. Winning every match did little to improve his shaky mood, probably because Riku spent the entire time looking at him with soft, worried eyes.

“Can you still do that teleporting thing?” Sora asked later, while Riku spooned him in bed.

“Dark Aura?” asked Riku. “Sure.”

“You never do it when we spar.”

“Well, it’s a spar,” said Riku. “You never come at me with two Keyblades, do you?”

No. No, but it hadn't even occur to Sora because Riku had not pushed him in months and months. Years, maybe. Not outside a real fight. 

And he sure had gone right for Riku's bad wrist at the slightest provocation.

“What about that black skintight suit thing?”

“Dark Armor?” Riku went dead-still. “Y-yeah, probably.”

Sora turned around to face him, making sure to keep as much eye contact as possible. “Probably?”

“It looks. . .” Riku didn't meet his gaze. “It’s wrapping myself in darkness.”

“The butt-skirt thing looked silly, I’m not gonna lie to you.” Since that coaxed an embarrassed smile from Riku, Sora kept going. “But the rest of it was. . .” 

It’d been like a punch in the gut watching Riku wrapped in skintight, ink-black. . . whatever the darkness was made of. Sora had imagined touching Riku while he wore that, always in secret and ashamed about the whole thing because Riku had been taken by Ansem right after that fight.

“Let me see it,” said Sora.

“What?”

“Your Dark Amor,” insisted Sora, sure that Riku knew exactly what he meant. “I wanna see it.”

Riku stopped breathing, then let go of Sora’s waist. “Okay,” he said, avoiding Sora’s gaze. “Okay, but give me some space.”

Once, that might have meant “go stand across the room”, but Sora had spent weeks glued to Riku’s side, so now it meant “inch a little away from me on the bed and don’t outright touch me”. 

Black, smoky tendrils wrapped all over Riku’s body, conforming to the shape of his defined musculature. The silly butt-skirt and the Heartless sigil on his chest were gone, leaving only the slick leather/rubber-looking material framing his body. Riku shifted a bit, and the Dark Armor’s color fluttered between pitch-black and dark purple. 

Sora reached out for Riku’s arm, eyes widening as the armor touched the palm of his hand. Briefly, the smoke enveloped his fingers, but it retreated before Sora could react to it. It was like touching Riku’s skin, except Riku wasn't giggling and squirming away for once. 

“Does it always feel like this?” he asked, sliding closer so that he was plastered over Riku, touching the Dark Armor as much as possible.

“Like what?” asked Riku, joints locked and muscles tense.

“Y’know.”

“Sora, it doesn't feel like anything,” said Riku. “It’s just a part of me.”

“It feels _good_.

"Alright, that's enough." Riku pushed Sora off and jumped over him, vanishing his Dark Armor as he walked across their room. "The darkness isn't a toy. _I’m_ not a toy.”

“What in the world. . .” Sora huffed, suddenly furious, and got up off the bed. “Don't you talk to me like I’m Ansem or Maleficent.” 

“Yeah?” Riku flushed. “You're sure acting like them lately, staring at me with your mouth hanging open like you want to _eat_ me.”

Sora curled his fists, ready to stride closer and _shake_ Riku, to make him _see_. “I’ve always wanted you, even when you were just the weird, beautiful kid in Destiny Islands.”

“No, you haven't,” said Riku, shoulders sagging. “Not like this. Don't you see? This is what the Darkness does, if you're not careful. It draws you in, makes you feel safe and powerful, makes you want it more and more until it consumes you.”

“But it’s not the Darkness I want,” protested Sore. “I want _you_.”

Riku smiled sadly. “Not like this, Sora. I’m sorry.”

“Damnit!” 

Riku flinched, which only made Sora madder. He stepped closer and grabbed Riku’s shoulders, searching Riku’s gaze.

“You're the one always treating me like I’m some dumb kid,” hissed Sora, “running off because you thought I couldn’t save Kairi, then disappearing once I beat some sense into you.”

“I didn't want you to see. . .” Riku trailed off, flushing. 

“What?” demanded Sora. “Didn't want me to see you being less-than-perfect?” 

“I didn’t want you to see me being so _weak_.”

Sora forced himself to soften his expression and slipped a hand under Riku’s chin to make him _see_. He wished he had Riku’s way with words, but everything he said always came out silly and young, so he just pulled Riku’s face down and mashed their lips together. Except he’d never kissed anyone before, so the romantic scene of Riku melting in his arms he’d been hoping for didn't happen. Instead, Riku stiffened, then pulled away and stepped around Sora.

“I used to think it was just Ansem and Maleficent,” he said, touching his lips as though Sora had burned them. “But it was me the whole time. I just do this to people.”

“What?” 

“I should go,” said Riku, half-looking at Sora before staring out the window. 

“Riku, _no_!” Sora didn't care if he looked like a dumb baby. He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Riku’s chest, hugging him from behind. “If you leave, I’'ll follow you. To Kingdom Hearts, or darkness, or whatever you go. I can’t do this without you.”

“What about Kairi?” 

“Kairi has a Keyblade now,” said Sora, tightening his hold on Riku. “If I can learn how to use it, then so can she.”

“No, I mean. . .” Riku took a gasping breath. “You didn't always want me, Sora. You love her, she loves you, and for some reason you got it in your head that she wanted me, but I was just a third wheel she tolerated because you insisted on bringing me along. Or did I make you forget?”

Sora took a deep breath, unsure of which crazy part of Riku’s short speech to argue with first, then buried his head in Riku’s hair. _You didn't always want me_ seemed the most important bit to nip in the bud. 

“Back in the Islands, after we got sweaty and gross play-fighting, I wanted to taste your skin.” Sora’s hand trailed up to Riku’s neck to touch the divot where Riku’s clavicles met. “First time I ever touched myself, I imagined sucking here after tickling you on a hot day.”

“. . . That’s so weird,” said Riku. But he didn't pull away.

“Probably.” Sora sighed, then let go made himself walk around to look into Riku’s jewel-blue eyes. “I've always, _always_ wanted you, and it’s okay if you don't want me back. But don't leave again, Riku. Please. I can't do this without you.”

“I won't use my darkness so you can. . . touch it.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” Sora said in a breathy rush. “I won't ever ask again, I promise.”

“And you can’t sleep on my bed anymore.”

“No problem,” said Sora, though every fiber of his being was arguing against that. “I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I'll go back to my room even - ”

“You don't have to do that,” said Riku, and Sora wasn't strong enough to insist. “You can look at me too, but no more touching, except when we’re sparring, or if we have to help each other or something.”

“Okay, okay,” said Sora, before his mouth got ahead of him and he protested. Riku was staying; only that mattered. 

“I’m sorry, Sora.”

Instinctively, Sora raised his hands to touch Riku’s face. Then he remember what he’d _just_ promised and dropped them to his side. 

“You don't have anything to be sorry about,” said Sora. 

Riku’s shoulders relaxed minutely, and Sora forced a bright smile. All things considered, his confession had gone better than he could have realistically hoped for. Riku would stay, and together they could take whatever came at them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [chocolatetigerposts](http://chocolatetigerposts.tumblr.com/) at tumblr.


End file.
